what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
