Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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