I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
