Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Drunk is not a location!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
