...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
