He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
