party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
