i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
A bitchslap is in order.
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