You're my little dorito
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
