Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
