She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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