dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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