Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
