You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
