we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
