I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
