Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
This house was built for laser tag.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
