Sry I called you an 8
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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