remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
