pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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