I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
