shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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