We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
