i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
