Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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