yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
