I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
