Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
