Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I could make wine with my vomit
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
