And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
