you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
