i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
worst night to have a conscience
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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