I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I puked a lego.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
