There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
