Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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