It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
