You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
