Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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