the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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