Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
