im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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