The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
