I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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