Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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