Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
