I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
