eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize
