Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
you will always have a special place in my vag
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
