All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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