But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
