I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
