I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
