Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I faked an abortion last night.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
